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Butt Chugging rears its ugly head once again

Ah, Butt Chugging. Vodka Tampon’s redheaded stepchild. Brought to the fore of our collective consciousness courtesy of a local fraternity scandal where the act allegedly took place.

It was the talk of the town last week and just when you thought this thing had run its course, it, um, rears its ugly head once again. This time via a press conference held by the fraternity in question, led by the attorney who is representing them.

There’s simply no way you can make this shit up.

The press conference, that is. Well, the act of butt chugging, too. But just so I’m clear, it’s not really this specific situation which has tickled my funny bone. Regardless of whether or not butt chugging was involved, there’s nothing funny about intoxication so extreme that it almost costs a young man his life.

But butt chugging, itself? Sorry, y’all. Comedy. Gold.

Example:

What did one butt chugger say to the other? Bottoms up.

Don’t get me wrong — butt chugging’s certainly not up my alley, but that doesn’t change the fact that the butt chugging jokes are, you know, endless. And this presser, which I first learned of via OutkickTheCoverage, is proof of that. Because the attorney in question, Daniel McGehee, makes a couple of jokes he’s not even aware he’s making. Like at the 3:39 mark of the video I’ve embedded below when he makes the freudian slip of all times and refers to the act as

butt chucking.

I shit you not. I told you that you couldn’t make this up. Because if you could, surely I would have included “butt chucking” in our original Butt Chugging post.

Another particularly funny part was when McGehee says his client, and I quote: “denies each and every allegation whatsoever that has been inferred that he may be a gay man. He is a straight man. And he thinks that the idea and the concept of butt chugging is absolutely repulsive.”

(Not that there’s anything wrong with that. My father was a butt chugger.)

The presser was called to explicitly deny any butt chugging took place. Instead, just something called Tour de Franzia, which, while not exactly butt chugging, certainly ain’t no slouch its-damn-self.

And speaking of, that attorney clearly ain’t no slouch either, what with his bow tie and deadpan delivery of the term butt chugging like 14 times. He’s good, y’all. And, from what I gather, expensive. Word is that guy charges out the ass.

Enjoy the presser.

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facebook comments:

  • http://www.fathermuskrat.com Father Muskrat

    I’d like to have a law practice devoted exclusively to the defense of butt chuggers.

    • admin

      not that you’re not doing great as is, but, still, you woulda made an assload.

  • NorthKnoxVol

    From the legal team of Dooey, Cheatem and Howe, comes the pitch “we‘ll plug your chug.”

    • admin

      that slogan has legs. no question.