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From Rommel to Romo: Double D does Dallas

Double D Does Dallas

I bet bamboo grows fast as shit in Dallas.

Double D does Dallas?

Looks like Derek Dooley is on the move, this according to NFL insider Adam Schefter who tweeted the following on Saturday night:

Two things should be pointed out. First, according to someone I know and trust who has been in contact with the Dooley family, Derek hasn’t been hired by the Dallas Cowboys. And second, this piece on ESPN (published since Shefter’s tweet) also indicates it’s not a done deal.

The Associated Press, citing the team’s website, reported the move as official on Saturday night but on Sunday the story on the team’s website reporting that Dooley had been hired was updated to say that the position had not yet been filled.

Still, if Schefter’s reporting it’s gonna happen, odds are it probably will, which means ol’ double D will be trading in his Rommel tirades for Romo targets. And it makes complete and total sense to me. Think about it. At UT, Dooley showed he was a loser. So why not go next-level and become a professional loser, right? (I stole that one from a comment on aVy’s FB page left by a longtime reader.)

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It wasn’t just on Facebook where people were taking shots. Some folks took to Twitter, too.

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All kidding aside, one thing’s for sure — it’ll be interesting to see how the Cowboys fare in “year zero” of Dooley’s tenure. (OOH. Another pot shot. I just can’t control myself…)

For those claiming that the move makes NO sense whatsoever, I beg to differ. First, it’s Dallas, right? The most disappointing, underachieving NFL team of the past several years. You add up the kind of talent the Cowboys have on their roster with their woeful (and barely existing) post-season track record in recent years and you know what you get?

A culture of excuses. So Dooley should fit right in.

Plus, there’s this: he’ll have other former Vols to fraternize with. Like Jason Witten. And, don’t forget, Monte Kiffin, who was recently hired as the Cowboys’ defensive coordinator. Can you imagine the kind of pow-wow sessions Monte and Derek are capable of having? Me neither, but it really doesn’t matter since whatever it is they might discuss would most certainly be forgotten by Monte within seconds flat.

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Seriously, though, this one leaves me scratching my head. Yes, Dooley was the tight end coach for the Dolphins when Jason Garret was Miami’s quarterback coach. So there’s that experience and connection. But Dooley’s time on Rocky Top was nothing short of an abject failure on virtually every level. Exactly why I was most surprised to hear of this.

Not to say that Dooley doesn’t deserve a second chance in the coaching ranks. He does. But given how little Dooley’s actually accomplished, receivers coach for the Dallas Cowboys seems a bit high up the food chain. Receivers coach for the Wyoming Cowboys seems like a better fit to me.

Though… now that I think about it… Remember how the Cowboys hired a babysitter for Dez Bryant last year? Maybe that’s why they’re thinking about bringing Dooley on board. Not to actually coach, but more to be Dez’s babysitter. Which makes total sense. You know, given how many hours of tutelage Dooley’s logged under his mama, Barbara, who’s a flat-out expert when it comes to the art of babying grown men.

Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if Barbara were part of the deal. She better be careful, though, because Dez ain’t afraid to smack his mama around (allegedly). And if Dez ain’t afraid to pop his mama, just think what he’d do to Barbara.

You know, I think I’m starting to come around on this whole thing…

UPDATE: as I’d indicated at the beginning, this thing is most definitely not a done deal yet — per Jimmy Hyams:

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facebook comments:

  • NorthKnoxVol

    Absolute gold strike on the title! Being That Dooley did not make friends or even gain respect of former players there will be an interesting dynamic between he and Witten. Does this hire relieve UT from the buyout payments?

    • http://johncaveosborne.com John Cave Osborne

      no, it sure doesn’t, buddy. UT’s on the hook for the 5 large no matter what.

  • Sherry

    Sweet Bamboo reference!!! Ha!