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High point / low point moments and Brent Musberger’s pro bono.
- Updated: January 8, 2013
Boy, was that ever a tough game for this Vol fan to watch last night. I mean, I dislike both teams. And I also dislike both coaches (especially you, Saban, you son of a bitch!). Yet one of those teams along with its coach was gonna be crowned national champion whether I liked it or not. Though, on the flip side, at least that meant that one of them would lose. Which is why I think I had so many high point / low point moments last night. So I thought I’d share a few of them with you today.
High Point / Low Point Moments
Kickoff to a BCS title game which screams: Anything can happen!
Bama’s first drive which screamed: No it can’t.
Alabama FUMBLE! Maybe this will be a game after all!
Ah. Not a fumble. Because the ref just called interference on a Notre Dame player who was (a) blocked into the path of the Alabama punt returner, yet (b) still never actually touched the Alabama punt returner. Great. The fix is in. As if the Tide need any help in clobbering these clowns.
When the cameras caught A.J. McCarron’s girlfriend, Katherine Webb, who is, quite simply, preposterously hot.
When Musburger went all creepy ol’ man on her. You know, now that I think about it, I wonder if Brent was calling the game for free last night. Because it sure sounded like he had a pro bono situation going on. Check it out. You can totally tell from this 33-second clip.
And while we’re at it, can we talk about McCarron’s mom? Because as you could tell from the YouTube clip above, Brent kinda went pro bono on her, too. And he’s not the only one. Clay Travis has been oogling over A.J.’s mom for months.
Probably as good of a time as any to tell you that the woman’s name is Dee Dee Bonner. So, you take out an n and, admittedly, Dee Dee’s a boner with a capital B.
But in name only, folks, hence my confusion at Clay’s fixation.
Don’t get me wrong. Dee Dee’s lovely. But I believe Clay described her as a “smoke show,” and that, my friends, she’s not.
Does she have assets?
Clearly. (By the way, how bummed do you think the woman with the tomato-colored face on the left is? She’s probably like Just my luck. I go out and get a face peel on the very day I pose next to A.J.’s mom’s assets for a picture that just happens to go viral, thus ensuring that everyone in the world will see the one time I made the questionable decision to attend a fancy gathering while looking like an embarrassed Oompa Loompa.)
Still, assets notwithstanding (though Dee Dee’s appear to be doing just that – standing, that is…), I don’t see anything more than another face in the crowd.
Reasonably attractive woman. Looks young, too. But she ain’t no smoke show.
See the stuff you’re forced to contemplate during the most lopsided BCS title game in the history of ever?
Moving right along…
When A.J. McCarron FINALLY took a pretty good shot from a lineman.
When I realized it was his own lineman, center Barrett Jones.
When I realized that meant that the two were involved in what Musburger categorized as a “lovers’ quarrel.” (Boy, someone sure had amore on his mind last night, no?)
When he and Herbstreit wouldn’t let it go and documented every little element of the McCarron-Jones spat, right up to the awkward leap-hug-ass-pat-make-up thing they pulled at the very end.
When Saban was about to get the Gatorade shower, but not because it signified his fourth BCS title in the past eight years (which is freakin’ sick-o, by the way). Instead, because I wanted to see what it’d do to all the creative combing Saban’s got going on with his coif.
When the shower fell short, bouncing pathetically off Saban’s back, which meant his creatively combed hair remained intact. If I’m not mistaken, Barrett Jones was one of the players who executed the maneuver and the dude’s 6’5”. Even if Saban had been rocking his shoe lifts, Jones still would have had him by quite a few inches. So how could it be that he and his teammates missed Saban’s hair?
I’ll tell you how. A little thing called respect. They know damn well Saban’s pretty sensitive about his bonnet. This despite the fact that Saban’s never once uttered any words to that effect. He’s never had to.
He tells them with his eyes.
And with the sound of the hair dryer which emanates from behind his locked office door.
The horribly lopsided and uninteresting game that pitted my two least favorite teams against one another for the ultimate trophy was finally over.
So, too, was college football.
Notre Dame lost and proved to the world what many suspected. Namely that they kinda sucked. And I don’t like Notre Dame one single bit.
Alabama won and proved to the world what many suspected. Namely that they kinda got a dynasty thing going on. And I don’t like Alabama one single bit.
Still, though, at least it was another one for the SEC.
Your thoughts on the BCS champion ship game?