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Wrapping Up the Kick Off of SEC Media Days

Over 1200 members of the “media” were credentialed to come to Birmingham/Hoover/Wherever the hell I am, Alabama to “cover” the SEC Media Days. I use the term “media” loosely because, let’s face it, it’s a pretty big stretch to take a lot of these bozos, including myself, seriously. Yesterday I previewed what to expect; now, I will begin putting the pieces of that puzzle together.

I was fully prepared to witness homers in disguise mixed with reporters that take themselves a little too seriously, and that is precisely what I have encountered. All in all, however, it has been a little underwhelming from what I have encountered in the main media room where most people are on their best behavior.

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Mike Slive: A whole lot of bragging mixed in with some academic talks

Predictably, SEC Commissioner Mike Slive spent a lot of time talking about the recent success the league has had overall. He even gave it a cute a little nickname: his “brag bag.” Items inside of the bag included 86 total national championships since the year 2000, seven straight in football as well as six teams inside the top ten.

Other takeaways from Slive: Scheduling will remain in its current 6-1-1 format. (So, rest easy knowing that you will get to continue the Alabama rivalry for now, Vol fans.) The men’s basketball season did not meet expectations. To his credit, Slive did a good job of pretending that the higher-ups are concerned about the under-compensation of student athletes.

Also, the next SEC-storied special was announced, and, brace yourself Vol fans, it will be titled “The Book of Manning” and will chronicle Archie and the boys.

Will Muschamp: A lot of talk about changing the program WHOA, shots fired towards Ohio.

No, not literally. I feel that in light of the recent news about those former Gator players that played for that coach in Ohio that I should clarify.

Muschamp opened strong, boasting his team’s character and mental resolve by citing their eight come-from-behind wins and 61-20 scoring margin in 4th quarters- (Yeah, 10-0 in the Tennessee game in case you forgot). His defense had a plus 15 turnover margin.

However, his comments before making it to the main stage created all of the buzz. In response to the allegations hurled by Urban Meyer,

“We appreciate our friends in Ohio making sure we comply with NCAA rules. They certainly know about NCAA rules.”

“Coaches are 100% responsible for off field actions of players.” Also known as: “Hey, Urban Meyer…. It’s your fault Florida’s program was full of off-the-field trouble, ya jackass!”

By the way: the dude’s comb-over is perfect. Also, I imagine that WillMuschampNeverEverUsesAcommaWhenHeTypesOrTextsToAnyone. The guy spoke for 20 minutes without taking a breath, much less a pause. Butch Jones and his hashtags approves.

A certain Knoxville media member asked Muschamp what he thought of Jadaveon Clowney. What a waste.

Typical.

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Gary Pinkel: “We’re sorry for doubting the SEC. We’ll try to be ready this year.”

Pinkel’s opening statements clocked in at approximately 3% of the length of Muschamp’s. You can tell that he does not necessarily want to be here. Lucky for him, this is most likely his last year.

Asked if bringing James Franklin to media day tips his hand in the quarterback battle, Pinkel stops the question and says that he just likes the way Franklin represents the program. Translation: Damn it, I’m busted.

Gary Pinkel was adamant in saying that Missouri must improve on the defezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

………………………..

Sorry, move along, nothing to see here.

The Southeastern Conference Media Days are off and running, and madness will be sure to be follow. Check back for more updates.

Hugh Freeze: “Unrealistic expectations produce frustration.”

Real quote from Freeze that actually warns not to take his top recruiting class too seriously. Translation: We’re STILL Ole Miss.

Well said, coach.

Steve Spurrier: “Players should receive expense money, and Clowney has gotten even better… Oh yeah and Notre Dame should man up.”

Needless to say, Spurrier was classic Spurrier. The OBC has not lost a step on the mic. In all honesty, there is a direct correlation between his cockiness and the talent level on his football team. Watch out SEC East.

Spurrier took jabs at Notre Dame saying that all 14 SEC coaches voted that they should just get it over with and play football in the ACC.

Continuing his plight of the past year or so, he was adamant on both football and basketball players receiving almost three hundred dollars for expenses of family traveling to come to games.

When asked if he would ever turn in Florida or a school for a violation, he laughed that he can not condone purposely breaking the rules. It is weird how cute the OBC makes snitching sound.

Player portion:

Jadeveon Clowney drew by far the biggest crowd for his interviews. He looked comfortable as he fielded questions about what he does off the field, who his best match-up was (the guy from Michigan was pretty good…the guy from Tennessee was pretty good), and how he gained six pounds of, presumably, muscle from eating nothing but peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for one day, and how, before bed one night, he decided that he was going to wake up and run a 4.4 forty. No, really. The Heisman is on the radar, but getting South Carolina to Atlanta for the SEC Championship was his main goal.

Dominique Easley really asked if Bear Bryant was a cartoon. I promise.

Bo Wallace thinks Marshall is just being Marshall and would only comment that he likes watching him play basketball. Translation: Are any of you really surprised that he (allegedly) failed another drug test?

Day 1 winners were definitely South Carolina. Both Spurrier and Clowney were the two biggest stars.

Day 1 (and forevermore) loser: A tie between Urban Meyer and me for stumbling through my attempt to be cool in front of Bruce Ellington by asking which album he preferred: Yeezus or Magna Carta Holy Grail.

Check back for Day 2 and/or follow me on twitter for live updates.

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